Here's the deal. I really really try not to be nostalgic. Like okay, I get the past is the past and you need to move on and blah blah blah. But every once in awhile, I think it's a okay to take a stroll down memory lane. To remember the thoughts, the fears, the game changers.. all the things that led you to where you are now. I think it's okay to celebrate how far you've come, to long for the things that are no longer in your grasp, and to recollect the memories that made your heart warm and smile bright. Of course you can't do this all the time because then you would ignore all things available to you in the present- but sometimes being nostalgic is one of the most comforting things for the mind. Maybe because it helps you gain perspective or even provides hope. It reminds you that the things that you thought were a w f u l, weren't all that bad. And the things that brought you bliss, were actually the things you ignored. It's nostalgia that ironically motivates us to make the most of every current moment and gives us the strength to see the good in the midst of bad because before you know it, those "times" of our life are vanished and become shelved memories and lessons. So maybe people get sick of remember whens and what I learned stories, but at the end of the day I know my intentions and understand why I take trips down memory lane. Because to me it's not about reliving, it's about sharing. Sharing advice, opinions, hope, a helpful to hand to those who are facing change and challenges that I have been privileged to encounter already. Truth is, I've always longed to have an older sister to guide my unknown paths, help direct to me to the good life, and teach me methods to avoid the demons that tend to get in the way. Obviously for me, this is not the case. But not having a sister has has inspired me to assure similar, wandering girls out there, that I got you. And this post, it's not for me, it's for you. And whether you need one or not, you have an older sister that has your back.
News around the block is that you start your freshman year within a few short days. You probably have about 2374893 questions, a wee bit of sadness, but a whole lot of excitement. You're ready, and you know it, but sometimes the nerves and unfamiliarity of the unknown messes with your confidence. How am I going to handle school, will I make friends, what will happen with friends back at home, how will I manage without my mom???…. the list goes on. But ultimately there's only one honest question that you want to be answered. The funny thing is, you don't even know it's a question…not yet, anyway.
Right now, it's not a question, it's an expectation. But one day, it will creep up on you without you even knowing... and you'll subconsciously begin to ask... and before you know it you'll silently be demanding answers of how to solve the improbable. But maybe, just maybe, if you let me be your older sister for a minute or two I can give you a cheat sheet to the answer. And maybe help you avoid the mess I got in my freshman year. And hopefully guide you to a year of that you will never want to forget.
What can I do to have a great freshman year?
silly, right? I know, I know. You're moving away from home, you're on your own, there's new guys+friends to meet, you're living with your best friend.. How much more do I need to have great freshman year? That's what I thought at least. I literally expected nothing but the best. And to be fair to myself, in a way I am glad I had expectations for happiness and smooth sailing; my expectations weren't necessarily bad, my methods of achieving them was where I messed up. I put my confidence in things that really made reaching my expectations unrealistic. Soon enough I experienced things that shook me and left my heart in a tangle and soon enough I realized that things like having the perfect roommate or class schedule wasn't going to cut it long term. If I wanted a great year and lasting happiness, I was going to have to rely on stronger principles and develop my faith in something greater than myself. And so that's what I did. And even though it took me a little longer than I would've liked, I'm perfectly fine with it now. Because now I get to pass on the lessons I learned on to you. Read if you will, apply if you want, but these are the things I wished I knew going into my freshman year.
1. Make no assumptions.
Make no assumptions when it comes to meeting new people, your class schedule, or even to yourself. Assumptions kill so many opportunities without you even knowing it and even limits your ability to grow. I kid you not, the first time one of my best friends from school, I straight up said, "there's no way I will be friends with that girl, we are way too different." SO wrong and so grateful that I was. Don't assume that you're not smart enough, don't assume that that cute boy won't go for a girl like you, don't assume that you aren't able to handle all that's thrown at you. Just don't. Forget the assumptions and you will come into your own like never before.
2. Forget the "Should"
With freshman year comes so much freedom, but sometimes it's super easy to get lost and just go with the crowd. Oh, I should go to that party because everyone else is there. I should major in this because people say it's applicable to most lifestyles. I should do this and that, and do everything that people say would be "good" for me. Forget it all. Do you things are right for you. Choose that music major, date who you want to date, go to the library on a friday night if that's what you want! Forget the should. You'll discover that when you start doing what you think is right for you, you will find the path you're meant to be on.
3. Don't be afraid to stand alone.
There's going to be times this year where you will be surrounded by so many friends and new places.. and then there's times where you will feel a whole new level of loneliness. And the thing is, we act like being lonely is something to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Being alone is nothing to be embarrassed about. When you have the chance to stand alone, you grow in ways that are so perfect and personal that you won't want to change it for anything. Don't get me wrong, staying locked up is not a fun way to spend your life, but do not underestimate the experience of growth and love from God in those moments of darkness and sorrow. And hey news flash people, SO many people just like you are feeling the exact same way! So don't let standing alone keep you from going to that soccer game or going to dinner, chances are you'll find someone just like you, feeling the exact same way.
4. Have gratitude.
Obvious, right? But seriously, have gratitude for anything and everything. Yes, be thankful for the big opportunities but be more grateful for the little things. I know that sounds a little reversed, but what I've learned is that the everyday wonders matter more than the every-once-in-awhile events. Find gratitude when you feel like there is nothing to be grateful for, even if it's as simple as "I got a killer parking spot today." But for real, that has made it into my gratitude journal. No shame. Having gratitude will seriously make the biggest difference in your year. Be grateful and celebrate the the little things because they will be the things you will cherish the most in the end.
5. Make it yours.
The most important thing you can recognize about freshman year is that it's going to be different for everyone. I made the big mistake that my freshman year was going to be exactly like the girls' who went before me. You're going to look at girls and think "wow, their life is perfect." But let me assure you, no matter how perfect it may be, yours is better because it's yours. Don't try to squeeze your life into the mold that you think it should be, live your life the way you want it to be and become the person you want to be. Don't let those perfectly edited pictures on social media convince you that your freshman year isn't wonderful because it most definitely is. This year is Yours, don't let anyone or anything take that away from you.
Alright, your annoying, nostalgic older sister is done rambling. But seriously, go have fun out there and find what makes your heart happy. Maybe these tips of advice will help you get there, maybe not. But if you take anything from me just remember this: it's not about where you are, what you're majoring in, or how freakin' lost and alone you may feel... It's about your mindset. Have a positive mind and you will reach your full potential and will surely have a blast of a year.
Freshman year. Take this new start and make it all you want to be. And never forget- when you bomb your political science test, get locked out of your room with only a towel on, stress about the freshman fifteen, or any other twists that come your way- you have a older sister that has your back.
Love Always,
Lauren
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