Fresh.

Here's the deal. I really really try not to be nostalgic. Like okay, I get the past is the past and you need to move on and blah blah blah. But every once in awhile, I think it's a okay to take a stroll down memory lane. To remember the thoughts, the fears, the game changers.. all the things that led you to where you are now. I think it's okay to celebrate how far you've come, to long for the things that are no longer in your grasp, and to recollect the memories that made your heart warm and smile bright. Of course you can't do this all the time because then you would ignore all things available to you in the present- but sometimes being nostalgic is one of the most comforting things for the mind. Maybe because it helps you gain perspective or even provides hope. It reminds you that the things that you thought were a w f u l, weren't all that bad. And the things that brought you bliss, were actually the things you ignored. It's nostalgia that ironically motivates us to make the most of every current moment and gives us the strength to see the good in the midst of bad because before you know it, those "times" of our life are vanished and become shelved memories and lessons. So maybe people get sick of remember whens and what I learned stories, but at the end of the day I know my intentions and understand why I take trips down memory lane. Because to me it's not about reliving, it's about sharing. Sharing advice, opinions, hope, a helpful to hand to those who are facing change and challenges that I have been privileged to encounter already. Truth is, I've always longed to have an older sister to guide my unknown paths, help direct to me to the good life, and teach me methods to avoid the demons that tend to get in the way. Obviously for me, this is not the case. But not having a sister has has inspired me to assure similar, wandering girls out there, that I got you. And this post, it's not for me, it's for you. And whether you need one or not, you have an older sister that has your back.

News around the block is that you start your freshman year within a few short days. You probably have about 2374893 questions, a wee bit of sadness, but a whole lot of excitement. You're ready, and you know it, but sometimes the nerves and unfamiliarity of the unknown messes with your confidence. How am I going to handle school, will I make friends, what will happen with friends back at home, how will I manage without my mom???…. the list goes on. But ultimately there's only one honest question that you want to be answered. The funny thing is, you don't even know it's a question…not yet, anyway.

Right now, it's not a question, it's an expectation. But one day, it will creep up on you without you even knowing... and you'll subconsciously begin to ask... and before you know it you'll silently be demanding answers of how to solve the improbable. But maybe, just maybe, if you let me be your older sister for a minute or two I can give you a cheat sheet to the answer. And maybe help you avoid the mess I got in my freshman year. And hopefully guide you to a year of that you will never want to forget.

What's the question you (will) ask:

What can I do to have a great freshman year?

silly, right? I know, I know. You're moving away from home, you're on your own, there's new guys+friends to meet, you're living with your best friend.. How much more do I need to have great freshman year? That's what I thought at least. I literally expected nothing but the best. And to be fair to myself, in a way I am glad I had expectations for happiness and smooth sailing; my expectations weren't necessarily bad, my methods of achieving them was where I messed up. I put my confidence in things that really made reaching my expectations unrealistic. Soon enough I experienced things that shook me and left my heart in a tangle and soon enough I realized that things like having the perfect roommate or class schedule wasn't going to cut it long term. If I wanted a great year and lasting happiness, I was going to have to rely on stronger principles and develop my faith in something greater than myself. And so that's what I did. And even though it took me a little longer than I would've liked, I'm perfectly fine with it now. Because now I get to pass on the lessons I learned on to you. Read if you will, apply if you want, but these are the things I wished I knew going into my freshman year. 

1. Make no assumptions.
 Make no assumptions when it comes to meeting new people, your class schedule, or even to yourself. Assumptions kill so many opportunities without you even knowing it and even limits your ability to grow. I kid you not, the first time one of my best friends from school, I straight up said, "there's no way I will be friends with that girl, we are way too different."  SO wrong and so grateful that I was. Don't assume that you're not smart enough, don't assume that that cute boy won't go for a girl like you, don't assume that you aren't able to handle all that's thrown at you. Just don't. Forget the assumptions and you will come into your own like never before.

2. Forget the "Should"
With freshman year comes so much freedom, but sometimes it's super easy to get lost and just go with the crowd. Oh, I should go to that party because everyone else is there. I should major in this because people say it's applicable to most lifestyles. I should do this and that, and do everything that people say would be "good" for me. Forget it all. Do you things are right for you. Choose that music major, date who you want to date, go to the library on a friday night if that's what you want! Forget the should. You'll discover that when you start doing what you think is right for you, you will find the path you're meant to be on. 

3. Don't be afraid to stand alone. 
There's going to be times this year where you will be surrounded by so many friends and new places.. and then there's times where you will feel a whole new level of loneliness. And the thing is, we act like being lonely is something to be ashamed or embarrassed about.  Being alone is nothing to be embarrassed about. When you have the chance to stand alone, you grow in ways that are so perfect and personal that you won't want to change it for anything. Don't get me wrong, staying locked up is not a fun way to spend your life, but do not underestimate the experience of growth and love from God in those moments of darkness and sorrow. And hey news flash people, SO many people just like you are feeling the exact same way! So don't let standing alone keep you from going to that soccer game or going to dinner, chances are you'll find someone just like you, feeling the exact same way. 

4. Have gratitude.
Obvious, right? But seriously, have gratitude for anything and everything. Yes, be thankful for the big opportunities but be more grateful for the little things. I know that sounds a little reversed, but what I've learned is that the everyday wonders matter more than the every-once-in-awhile events. Find gratitude when you feel like there is nothing to be grateful for, even if it's as simple as "I got a killer parking spot today." But for real, that has made it into my gratitude journal. No shame. Having gratitude will seriously make the biggest difference in your year. Be grateful and celebrate the the little things because they will be the things you will cherish the most in the end.  

5. Make it yours. 
The most important thing you can recognize about freshman year is that it's going to be different for everyone. I made the big mistake that my freshman year was going to be exactly like the girls' who went before me. You're going to look at girls and think "wow, their life is perfect." But let me assure you, no matter how perfect it may be, yours is better because it's yours. Don't try to squeeze your life into the mold that you think it should be, live your life the way you want it to be and become the person you want to be. Don't let those perfectly edited pictures on social media convince you that your freshman year isn't wonderful because it most definitely is. This year is Yours, don't let anyone or anything take that away from you. 

Alright, your annoying, nostalgic older sister is done rambling. But seriously, go have fun out there and find what makes your heart happy. Maybe these tips of advice will help you get there, maybe not. But if you take anything from me just remember this: it's not about where you are, what you're majoring in, or how freakin' lost and alone you may feel... It's about your mindset. Have a positive mind and you will reach your full potential and will surely have a blast of a year. 

Freshman year. Take this new start and make it all you want to be. And never forget- when you bomb your political science test, get locked out of your room with only a towel on, stress about the freshman fifteen, or any other twists that come your way- you have a older sister that has your back. 

Love Always, 

Lauren 

Stains on the Floor

A little while ago, I was doing some chores around my house when I had a hard realization. I was not in a good mood. I felt really discouraged and sad. And it was weird- has this happened to anyone else before? You know, when something distracts you for a minute, and then you have to remind yourself why you were upset a few minutes before? Well, that happened to me, and it was a powerful moment because I couldn’t even recall where this bad mood had come from. And it made me t h i n k.

What had I done that day? Like a lot of other days this summer, I’d woken up maybe later than I needed to, wasted a good amount of time on my phone, and then started on chores and was getting ready for work.  There was absolutely NOTHING that had gone wrong. And I’ve had days like this before, but I finally realized that maybe I was in a bad mood because I woke up, and instead of saying my prayers and doing something productive or even taking half an hour to entertain myself with something uplifting, I’d spent it utterly breaking myself down by not only comparing my physical appearance, but what I had done the night before, or what my biggest event of the summer had been- to all of the pictures edited to perfection in front of me.

I think we’ve all heard before that we tend to “compare our behind the scenes with others’ highlighted realities” but what seems to happen is that we hear this and realize it’s true, but do nothing to overcome the twisted way of thinking that challenges all of us in some way or another.

Not too long ago, Marjorie Pearce came and gave a devotional to the women in my ward. She talked to us about beliefs. Beliefs tell us how to feel about our experiences. Each of us have a collection of beliefs- and in this collection are:

 Capital Truths or eternal truths- such as “God loves me and has a plan for me”

Secondary “truths”- which are not eternal and have come from other sources or other people’s beliefs: “The ACT test reflects my academic abilities”

And LIES- “Nobody likes me. I’m not pretty or capable or worth anything at all”

Beliefs tell us how to feel about our experiences. So if you believe that “nobody likes you”, it doesn’t matter if a guy calls you and asks you on a date, you’ll tell yourself it was because he had nothing else to do or it was out of pity or something ridiculous like that. Some peoples’ collection of lies ring louder than others, but we all have accumulated clutter in our own belief boxes. The more we dedicate ourselves to daily seeking out eternal truths, beliefs that are REAL, that come from God, we will find peace and serenity. We need to talk back to the clutter that is thrown into our minds every day.

We will be happier and more successful if we start looking at the substance of things. Not the fluffy cultural coat. We need to choose to see things as they really are.

We need to stop doing things for other people to see. I truly believe that it takes value away from experiences and memories. There is nothing wrong with sharing, but we need to check our intentions. Because honestly, popularity and fame and feeling the need to make our lives seem like a grander adventure than everyone else’s is part of the big hologram our society has created. So why live in it? It’s not real!

We all know what REAL life is.

Real life is ups and downs. It’s eating eggs for multiple meals so you can save money because you’re a poor college student and you literally have none. In real life, people don’t look cute every second of every day or have flawless relationships. Real life is lonely and confusing. It's failure and disappointment. Real life is messy bedrooms and stains on the floor and crashing your car and losing your wallet and getting hurt and getting told no and wondering why things happen.

But hardships and loss and hard work make life so r e w a r d i n g and so much more wonderful. And we forget that too often. And we are afraid to admit that all of us struggle and have weaknesses.

I think we all want to be legendary. To leave a mark, to make a difference, to be admirable, to really make something of ourselves. But we often get confused with what a legendary life entails. And here is what I’ve learned.

It’s not living a pinterest-perfect life.

It’s not in having a plethora of friends

It’s not in perfect pictures

It’s not in being outwardly beautiful

Or being magnificently talented

Or in being the most adventurous and accomplished person

The most legendary man who ever walked upon the face of the earth was “despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted of grief”. He spent His life spreading joy and light and having close and intimate relationships with people. He’d seek out those whose hands hung down and He lifted them. in being like Him, we’ll find lasting happiness and unshakeable confidence that we are all in need of. 

I just wanted to remind all of us of the Truths we forget (including myself) 

Happy Sunday everybody.

Love,

Bri 

Confessions of a Type A Personality

Confession: I'm a fan of details. 

A fan of the little details that people know us by, that we may take pride in, and ultimately create our characters. Take my best friends for examples- I absolutely adore their little details. The girl who is obsessed with male celebrities. The girl who sings to herself when doing anything and everything. Or the girl who squeezes extra tight when she gives hugs. These are the details I love about my friends and I honestly wouldn’t want them any other way. But here’s the deal, we all have our special details that make us who we are… but sometimes those details don’t seem so endearing or lovely in our own eyes. Rather they are seen as quirks that can be annoying, irritating, and unchangeable.

For me, overall I would say I like who I am. Is that weird to say? Well, too late now. But it’s not like I’m over here gushing over how incredible I am, gosh no. More in the way that I appreciate the details that make me who I am. I’m happy to be the girl who loves buying fresh flowers for my room because they brighten my mood. I’m happy to be the girl that maps/drives out her daily runs the night before. I’m happy to be the girl who always bakes and delivers cookies on Sundays. I’m happy to be the girl uses the word Fearless in a sentence whenever the opportunity presents itself. I like those details. But then there’s those dreaded quirks that honestly just sometimes drive me into the ground. Now for the sake of not embarrassing myself completely and also comprehending that those who know me well know those quirks already.. I’m just going to skip on past that long list of things that drive me (and surely everyone around me) crazy. However, there’s one thing I’ll share about me that I’m not entirely proud nor ashamed to have. Nonetheless, it’s apart of me. It is me. And maybe it’s not all that fantastic to some people, but I’m learning to love this little detailed quirk of mine.

It’s something that I like to call my Type A Personality

“Type A individuals tend to be very competitive and self-critical. They strive toward goals without feeling a sense of joy in their efforts or accomplishments. Type A personalities experience a constant sense of urgency: Type A people seem to be in a constant struggle against the clock.  Often, they quickly become impatient with delays and unproductive time, schedule commitments too tightly, and try to do more than one thing at a time, such as reading while eating or watching television….”

Umm hiiii, meet Lauren Anderson.

In a sense Type A is cool to be as we are are loyal, hard-working, and driven to success. In another, Type A’s are annoyingly intense, struggle to enjoy the moment, and never allow themselves to relax.  Sick, right? Ah my life. Literally.

 Yes having a Type A personality is exhausting at times (here I am, acting like I’m dying of a disease… I probably need to chill a bit---> perfect example of my problem people!), luckily I’m not the only one dealing with this dilemma.

Meet the Andersons.

Some of the coolest, funniest, loving cats you will ever meet.

Also some of the most Type A people in the Salt Lake County. Well, hold on. As a whole we can be a pretty fun, adventurous, laid back family unit… but we don’t let it show until we finish our early morning workouts on vacation and clean every corner of the house before we leave for date night. Catch my drift? This is us. But I love us. Haters gonna hate, but my Type A fam is pretty fantastic. Well, 4/5 of us hold this quality… bless my papa’s soul, as his free spirit didn’t exactly take in our genetic pool. 

But there are days where my red personality gets the best of me and leaves me in a discouragement of sorts. And when this happens, I feel grateful to call up my fam to help me get back on track. Last week I had one of those dreaded days and called up my older brother, Alex, who is currently living in New York City.

He listened to me vent about work, relationships, and stressful decisions that were on mind and in return he told me how he felt similar pressures in his own life. As we sat on the line with a negative Type A symptom cloud over our heads, he gave a suggestion that immediately brought the sun out and my mood up. With having the rest of my family out of town and all of his roommates being gone for the weekend- left us both alone, work-free, unrestrained for the coming Saturday. With this realization he boldly declared that Saturday was to be our day to do what we want to do.

The day was to be spent doing whatever makes us happy with no guilt regarding if we could be doing something more productive with our time.

The conversation ended with two siblings in different states making a deal to make the following Saturday everything we wanted it to be; to battle off our negative controlling minds and by actually letting ourselves have fun in the midst of our stressful lives.

 So the plan making began of what we both wanted to achieve come the weekend.

So, that was Wednesday.

Do you know how fast your state of mind can change from Wednesday to Saturday?

Uhh, a lot.

By the end of a long work shift on Friday night, I took no regard that the following day was supposed to be 'LaLa’s Day' (nickname created by Alex). Rather I went to bed thinking about all the housework I needed to complete the following morning and with subtle debate in my head if I should wake up in a short five hours to pull out a ten mile run before the heat stole the day.  Like honestly guys, a young adult should not be worrying about that kind of crap. Here I am, house completely to myself, and I’m worrying about getting all the laundry done the following day? #TypeAprobs

Sure enough the next day I was off to complete my own list chores and tedious tasks.. What I did not expect was a text from my bro asking for a full report of how my ‘LaLa Day’ was going.

Ummm, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, in other activities in the like? In other words I said I was “playing mom.”

What happened next was easily the highlight of week. He reluctantly responded back saying that my actions were unacceptable. I was breaking the deal. Simply, I was to stop playing “mom” and go out and have some fun. Or in his words "begin the day of LaLa right now." Before I did anything I asked him how his ‘Aly Day’ was going—he shot back a text of all the amazing things he planned for himself that day; he had already been on a run, went to his favorite bakery, was about to have lunch with a friend, go to Long Island, go to museum… the list goes on. It was right then that I realized that if my over- achieving/productive/time managing/New York internshipping brother can allow himself to so-called throw away an entire day to do what makes him happy, than why not I?

 Right then, I made a list (because us Type-Aers can’t completely throw our systematic actions out the window for good) of everything I wanted to do for myself.

So...

 I went a run (even when it was a solid 95 degrees). Hey, I wanted to run.

I laid out/swam.

I read my new book that I “haven’t had a chance to read”.

I put on some red lipstick.

I went shopping… I actually allowed myself to shop and not worry about saving money... #collegeprobs

I got a facial.

I got Thai takeout.

I got my favorite snow cone in Holladay.

I watched my favorite TV show.

And then I went to bed early with satisfaction and disbelief that I almost surpassed a blissful day as such for the sake of what? changing my bed sheets and getting groceries for the family who would not be returning for another week?

So what’s the whole point of this post you may ask? Besides me ranting about my controlling being...

Well the point is this: Sometimes I really think we don’t take enough time to make ourselves happy.

Currently I’m at a stage in life where I feel like everyone else around me is doing these phenomenal things that not only provides them personal progression but also changes people’s lives (ie a great portion of my friends are serving LDS missions, doing humanitarian trips, etc.). And what am I doing? Uhh working at a clothing store and trying out new recipes? And I guess comparing myself to these people doing these incredible things kinda made me feel useless and, well, discouraged. In other words, unhappy. I guess I felt guilty feeding my own soul with happiness when I could be doing so much for others…

BUT THEN THIS DAY HAPPENED.

And this is what I think

I think serving others can bring you satisfaction like nothing else can in this world. But I also think that there is no shame in treating yourself and taking care of your personal happiness. Because here’s the deal. When you help yourself be happy it reflects in your actions which can become service.

I realized the day I said “yes” to things I loved instead of putting them off, it made me want to say YES to other things and ultimately guided a path of me wanting to to serve others. What’s better service than having positive vibes and helping others around you feel the same? Nothing. Ultimately we don’t need missions and extraordinary opportunity to change the world… all we need is a smile and a hope to brighten people’s days in whatever way we can.

 Taking care of your happiness doesn’t mean you’re selfish, I think that’s a misconstrued concept our society has created. Simply, doing what makes you happy just radiates how you respect yourself. Of course you can’t live your life with only your happiness in mind… but sometimes it’s okay to “no” to saving the world everyday and “yes” to the things that put a smile on your face.

Like, really guys. Its okay. Serve others, serve yourself, and never hesitate that Heavenly Father wants all his children to be happy…Which includes YOU too. Yes he wants us to be humble and always remember Him, but let us remember what humility really means: Humility is understanding that happiness comes from charity and love. Serving others and yourself. Loving others and yourself.

So get your favorite Café Rio salad today. Go on a hike. Go to an amusement park. Take a day off work. Go play some baseball with friends. Spend time with those you love. Go to a movie. Do what makes you happy and do it unapologetically.

Here’s to the boy that wouldn’t let me skip out on my ‘LaLa Day.’ Sure am lucky to have a brother like him, who’s always watching over me and never letting me lose perspective of what this life should be.

Now it’s time for me to pass it on. So to you, dear reader: Say yes and go out and have some fun. Whether you have a Type A personality or not, go out a cease the day!

Trust me,  “enter personal nickname Days” are meant for everyone. Because guess what? 

You deserve to be happy.
And you can be happy...just say
YES. 

 

Love always, 

Lauren

My Happy

The transition of coming to college was an odd one. A mixed bowl of thrilling independence and irritation of a no longer simple life. As my best friends and I laid on the carpet this past weekend we laughed at all our failed expectations of what we thought freshman year would be. Don’t get me wrong, we all have claimed freshman year as an unforgettable adventure that we are grateful for. But still, we laughed. Laughed at what we thought our dorms rooms would look like- chic, cute, and organized- instead of the reality of cinderblock walls and limited closet space. We laughed at what we thought our love lives would be- being whisked away by the cute boy in a class evolving into a romantic relationship- more like being beat out by another girl for that one decent-looking guy… or calling up your best friend at 1:00 in the morning because you’re more interested in their late-night mumbles than your most recent date. We laughed (or cried) at the actuality of the freshman fifteen. We laughed at how everybody failed to mention that college means school. Like, really, how did no one warn me that your life revolves around studying, not partying all night? Hollywood and Facebook you have failed me. We laughed at our fears of being far apart. When really, even sixty days apart didn’t even put a dent into our friendships. We laughed. Really hard. Because it turns out the things we didn’t think we would struggle with, we did. And things we thought we would struggle with, we didn’t. And we laughed because the year we thought would cause us to drift apart brought us closer than we could have imagined.

Mainly because we all encountered, in one-way or another, one of the hardest years of our lives. A year where we surely all made a phone-call at one point, with cracking voices, saying, “I’m not happy.”  Those dreaded words. The words that no one should have to admit or feel, and yet we all said them. But fortunately (or unfortunately), we didn’t have to face that realization alone; because it so happened we all went through that extended funk together… at the same time. Now that was a new one.

As friends we like to balance each other out. Whether it’s personal characteristics or helping each other through tough times, balance is our motto. So I have grown used to having someone lift me up when I am down and vice versa. Well what happens when all your best friends are down when you are down? Welcome to freshman year. Perhaps the hardest thing wasn’t even regarding our own pain, it was not being able fix each other’s. We were apart, and during those hard days, distance was an inevitable strain. For the first time we couldn’t drive five minutes for a DC pick-me-up or give each other a hug. Calling became the only tool available, but soon enough, we learned that even the most perfect words couldn’t make everything better. We couldn’t solve each other’s financial burden. We couldn’t decide each other’s future plans. We couldn’t ace each other’s tests. We couldn’t mend each other’s broken hearts. We couldn’t take away illness. We just couldn’t fix each other. All we could do was be there for each other, and pray that one day we would all get our “happy” back. 

It’s the oldest desire in the book, to be happy. Honestly, why is it so hard to “find” happiness and even harder to keep it. Deep down we all know we have the power to be happy, it’s all about attitude and perspective. And yet, during this year, no matter how positive or hopeful we were, none of us could get our happy back. I started to doubt if I could get back that place, or even if that place existed anymore. To be honest, I didn’t really know what was going to make me happy. Things that made me happy during high school weren’t necessarily available to me at this stage in life— so I set out on an expedition to find a new kind of happiness.

 So I made lists.

And goals.

And plans.

And prayed that I would find what I was so desperately looking for. That we would all find what were were looking for.

And then I found it.

 No, not happiness- but the lesson that Heavenly Father wanted me to learn.

I learned that happiness is not, I repeat NOT, a destination.

Just like the pot of gold is never found at the end of the rainbow, happiness isn’t found at the end of the journey.

But instead, the real treasure is found in the beauty of the rainbow itself.

And happiness is found…well, in this plot-twisting journey we call life.

Happiness is found in everyday blessings that we tend to ignore. It’s found in simple moments, simple pleasures, and by no means requires huge opportunity or demands an Instagram post. Happy is possessed in moments, not some unfound destination. 

Happy is a Harry Potter marathon with your brothers. 

Happy is a good run. 

Happy is taking the sacrament. 

Happy is lunch with your mom. 

Happy is watching Anastasia at 2 in the morning 

Happy is your dad giving you dating advice (which was surprisingly helpful?)

Happy is hearing your grandma tell stories about her childhood. 

Happy is reading inspiring letters from your friends around the world. 

Happy is dancing with your hallmates to Celin Dion. 

Happy is a DC run with friends. 

Happy is listening to others. 

Happy is Temple Tuesday. 

Happy is love.

Loving what you’re doing, loving others, loving yourself, and loving the plan that Heavenly Father has created specifically for you.

It may be a simple realization, but it took me awhile to figure out. Truth is, I know being happy is going to be constant battle and choice that I will face every day. But I’m learning that when I express my gratitude for the little things, the big things don’t seem as big or necessary anymore. And being happy ain't all that difficult.  

This realization came on Saturday night while we were laughing over our failed predictions of freshman year. Because although my trials have yet to pass and there’s no certainty of when they will pass… I realized I finally started to find joy in the journey not the destination. I was living for that moment and nothing else.

So we laughed.

And then my heart warmed, because I realized in the hardest times of our lives, we can still be happy.  And this moment, with these best friends of mine..

Well, they were my happy.

Love Always,

Lauren