Would You

I'm a strong believer in working hard, I'm also a strong believer in taking breaks. My girl Erika and I took on this belief early into the college life. After studying all day, that knock on the door is my saving grace every single night. It's my break, my silly hour, just what I need before I sit back at my desk to finish my endless homework (no but really, never ending) into the early morning. Our daily ritual consists of Sonic runs or trips to the Creamery, getting our favorite treats (hello Freshman Fifteen), followed by our classic talks. Typical girl talks that consist of venting, laughs, reminiscing, and boys, of course. 

Quick Background

I was lucky enough to meet Erika on the first day of seventh grade. To this day we agree that our friendship, along with our twenty other girlfriends, was the kind of friendship that could only be formed over junior high years. There's something special about junior high that no other stage of your life can compare to. Sure, as you get older independence is great and you get to live the "adult life", but let's be real, if I could go back to being thirteen I easily would. Only at thirteen can you cram into your mom's car with girls stacked on each other's laps. Only at thirteen can you be okay with literally walking everywhere. Only at thirteen can you eat absolutely anything without gaining a pound. Only at thirteen can you wear plaid shorts and a striped shirt and not think twice about it. Only thirteen can you feel so old but be so little. So you get the point, I was fan of Junior High. A fan of the awkward years and even a bigger fan of the girls I met during them. 

Three years of junior high flew by and before we knew it were on our way to start high school. In the mix of the excitement and scariness of that realization, Erika had some news for us. She told us that she was going to a different high school to be apart of their Dance Company-- one of the best in the state. I was so excited for my "carmel girly-girl", excitement though didn't stop the tears and ache that I was losing one of my best friends. So we made promises. Promises that consisted of annual lunches, attending dance concerts, and to stay friends forever. Usually over time those promises don't work between long-distance friends, but we made sure that it would for us. 

Fast forward to senior year, still holding our promises and all. During one of our lunches we both realized that we were both going to BYU--alone. All of sudden those promises became our greatest blessing. Those promises kept us tied together and lead us to the opportunity to share Freshman year together. And my goodness, I'm grateful for that opportunity every single day... usually always around break time

 You see, these breaks are more than a treat or a nice chat. These breaks provide me new perspectives of my life. Dramatic, but true. On a recent break of ours, Erika asked me something that  no one has asked me before. After a long story of mine- a story that consisted of thrills, tears, and a whole lot of confusion- she asked me, 

"So, would you do it all again?" 

It got me thinking, not only about the previous story I shared, but my life as a whole and the experiences that have led me to where I am today. I thought of the times that challenged me and the people that changed me and I came up to a powerful realization. Everything that has happened in my life, all the good and bad, I am eternally grateful for. 

I am grateful for it all, and I would undoubtedly do it again. I would lose the SBO election three times more, I would experience the pain of a severe gymnastics accident again, I would surely face those awkward teenage years again as well. I would deal with all the disappointments, failures, and heartbreaks another time around. I would. Not because I enjoyed them, but because I know they are exact experiences and trials that Heavenly Father has designed for me to help me become the best-version of myself. 

Sometimes we just walk through life and never stop to really think about the reasoning behind the trials and experiences we are currently facing. We just bitterly accept the present and never think about why the present is the way it is. Truthfully, sometimes there's not a specific reason for difficult times in our lives-- however, there's always a will. And that will is God's. We must remember that He sees the big picture when we most definitely cannot. As hard as it may be we must always trust in His will and have faith that he will lead us to where we need to be, and become who we need to be. 

Life is tricky and hard, but my goodness it's beautiful… even a beautiful mess. But you know what, I would take messy any day over perfection. Because I believe the best lived lives are the one that are messy. The ones that have plenty of mistakes, countless heartbreaks, and several failures. Want to know why? because that means that the people that lived those lives TRIED. They tried and didn't let disappointment get the best of them, and that's the greatest thing we can do in this life. 

So if things in life are a bit rough I recommend taking a break. Because sometimes that's all you need to be reminded of how blessed you are and keep you trying. Life is hard and sometimes it's difficult to keep going with blind optimism. But this is I promise, once you see that sun after those rainy days you will surely say too, 

"I would do it all again." 

Love always, Lauren