Staying Grounded

If there's one thing I learned while being in California for the past six weeks, it's that being away from home is the best way to find who you are. That sounds so cliche, but I can wholeheartedly say it's the truth. I've spent the last 24 hours thinking about my trip and the person I was when I was away from everything I know. It's like you have all this free time to think about everything that happens to you and how you reacted and you decide what type of person you are comfortable being. It's a crazy thing to think about and I'm just coming to these conclusions after being home 6 hours.
I felt that I got to choose what made me happy instead of what I was being pulled to do. I got to decide what entertains me and the type of people I want to surround myself with. I'm not saying I now know the type of person that I am, but It'd like to think that I've made a few discoveries.
I've realized that dance brings me a lot of joy and fulfillment. I am whole when I am dancing and it's a way for me to express myself. I think I would implode if I couldn't dance.
I've realized that humans are meant to be active beings and I'm happier when I exercise more regularly.
I've realized I'm comfortable around people who are themselves and have a different perspective on life. I like being with people who challenge my thinking and are witty. They make life exciting and fresh.
I've realized that the majority of Utah is a bubble. I hate to say it, but outside of Utah there are different life goals and expectations.
I've realized that I am who I am and I'd rather be "hated for who I am instead of loved for who I'm not." It's hard to follow that concept, but the best feeling in the world is loving yourself for who you, why be anything different?
I've realized that I should never settle. I can always be a better person and work harder than I did the day before.
Even though I feel like I've learned so many new things, the one thing that's stuck with me is the importance of staying grounded.
 The night before we left California, my Aunt said, "Every person you guys worked with commented on how grounded you were." I really didn't understand what she meant until I got home.
The way I interpreted grounded is that we stay true to who we are. We had a strong sense of what was important to us and we stuck with it. We do our best to work hard, never complain and treat others with respect.
I think that we stayed grounded in California because we didn't have very many distractions. We were there to work and that's it. We weren't distracted by friends, school, or other family members. I think it's very important to find a place that can bring you back to your roots and help you stay grounded. Otherwise, we get lost in the confusion of life and are never happy.
My advice would be to find who, what and where keeps you grounded. Find that something that reminds you of what makes you happy and the type of person you were born to be.

XOXO annikakae

Stains on the Floor

A little while ago, I was doing some chores around my house when I had a hard realization. I was not in a good mood. I felt really discouraged and sad. And it was weird- has this happened to anyone else before? You know, when something distracts you for a minute, and then you have to remind yourself why you were upset a few minutes before? Well, that happened to me, and it was a powerful moment because I couldn’t even recall where this bad mood had come from. And it made me t h i n k.

What had I done that day? Like a lot of other days this summer, I’d woken up maybe later than I needed to, wasted a good amount of time on my phone, and then started on chores and was getting ready for work.  There was absolutely NOTHING that had gone wrong. And I’ve had days like this before, but I finally realized that maybe I was in a bad mood because I woke up, and instead of saying my prayers and doing something productive or even taking half an hour to entertain myself with something uplifting, I’d spent it utterly breaking myself down by not only comparing my physical appearance, but what I had done the night before, or what my biggest event of the summer had been- to all of the pictures edited to perfection in front of me.

I think we’ve all heard before that we tend to “compare our behind the scenes with others’ highlighted realities” but what seems to happen is that we hear this and realize it’s true, but do nothing to overcome the twisted way of thinking that challenges all of us in some way or another.

Not too long ago, Marjorie Pearce came and gave a devotional to the women in my ward. She talked to us about beliefs. Beliefs tell us how to feel about our experiences. Each of us have a collection of beliefs- and in this collection are:

 Capital Truths or eternal truths- such as “God loves me and has a plan for me”

Secondary “truths”- which are not eternal and have come from other sources or other people’s beliefs: “The ACT test reflects my academic abilities”

And LIES- “Nobody likes me. I’m not pretty or capable or worth anything at all”

Beliefs tell us how to feel about our experiences. So if you believe that “nobody likes you”, it doesn’t matter if a guy calls you and asks you on a date, you’ll tell yourself it was because he had nothing else to do or it was out of pity or something ridiculous like that. Some peoples’ collection of lies ring louder than others, but we all have accumulated clutter in our own belief boxes. The more we dedicate ourselves to daily seeking out eternal truths, beliefs that are REAL, that come from God, we will find peace and serenity. We need to talk back to the clutter that is thrown into our minds every day.

We will be happier and more successful if we start looking at the substance of things. Not the fluffy cultural coat. We need to choose to see things as they really are.

We need to stop doing things for other people to see. I truly believe that it takes value away from experiences and memories. There is nothing wrong with sharing, but we need to check our intentions. Because honestly, popularity and fame and feeling the need to make our lives seem like a grander adventure than everyone else’s is part of the big hologram our society has created. So why live in it? It’s not real!

We all know what REAL life is.

Real life is ups and downs. It’s eating eggs for multiple meals so you can save money because you’re a poor college student and you literally have none. In real life, people don’t look cute every second of every day or have flawless relationships. Real life is lonely and confusing. It's failure and disappointment. Real life is messy bedrooms and stains on the floor and crashing your car and losing your wallet and getting hurt and getting told no and wondering why things happen.

But hardships and loss and hard work make life so r e w a r d i n g and so much more wonderful. And we forget that too often. And we are afraid to admit that all of us struggle and have weaknesses.

I think we all want to be legendary. To leave a mark, to make a difference, to be admirable, to really make something of ourselves. But we often get confused with what a legendary life entails. And here is what I’ve learned.

It’s not living a pinterest-perfect life.

It’s not in having a plethora of friends

It’s not in perfect pictures

It’s not in being outwardly beautiful

Or being magnificently talented

Or in being the most adventurous and accomplished person

The most legendary man who ever walked upon the face of the earth was “despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted of grief”. He spent His life spreading joy and light and having close and intimate relationships with people. He’d seek out those whose hands hung down and He lifted them. in being like Him, we’ll find lasting happiness and unshakeable confidence that we are all in need of. 

I just wanted to remind all of us of the Truths we forget (including myself) 

Happy Sunday everybody.

Love,

Bri 

Confessions of a Type A Personality

Confession: I'm a fan of details. 

A fan of the little details that people know us by, that we may take pride in, and ultimately create our characters. Take my best friends for examples- I absolutely adore their little details. The girl who is obsessed with male celebrities. The girl who sings to herself when doing anything and everything. Or the girl who squeezes extra tight when she gives hugs. These are the details I love about my friends and I honestly wouldn’t want them any other way. But here’s the deal, we all have our special details that make us who we are… but sometimes those details don’t seem so endearing or lovely in our own eyes. Rather they are seen as quirks that can be annoying, irritating, and unchangeable.

For me, overall I would say I like who I am. Is that weird to say? Well, too late now. But it’s not like I’m over here gushing over how incredible I am, gosh no. More in the way that I appreciate the details that make me who I am. I’m happy to be the girl who loves buying fresh flowers for my room because they brighten my mood. I’m happy to be the girl that maps/drives out her daily runs the night before. I’m happy to be the girl who always bakes and delivers cookies on Sundays. I’m happy to be the girl uses the word Fearless in a sentence whenever the opportunity presents itself. I like those details. But then there’s those dreaded quirks that honestly just sometimes drive me into the ground. Now for the sake of not embarrassing myself completely and also comprehending that those who know me well know those quirks already.. I’m just going to skip on past that long list of things that drive me (and surely everyone around me) crazy. However, there’s one thing I’ll share about me that I’m not entirely proud nor ashamed to have. Nonetheless, it’s apart of me. It is me. And maybe it’s not all that fantastic to some people, but I’m learning to love this little detailed quirk of mine.

It’s something that I like to call my Type A Personality

“Type A individuals tend to be very competitive and self-critical. They strive toward goals without feeling a sense of joy in their efforts or accomplishments. Type A personalities experience a constant sense of urgency: Type A people seem to be in a constant struggle against the clock.  Often, they quickly become impatient with delays and unproductive time, schedule commitments too tightly, and try to do more than one thing at a time, such as reading while eating or watching television….”

Umm hiiii, meet Lauren Anderson.

In a sense Type A is cool to be as we are are loyal, hard-working, and driven to success. In another, Type A’s are annoyingly intense, struggle to enjoy the moment, and never allow themselves to relax.  Sick, right? Ah my life. Literally.

 Yes having a Type A personality is exhausting at times (here I am, acting like I’m dying of a disease… I probably need to chill a bit---> perfect example of my problem people!), luckily I’m not the only one dealing with this dilemma.

Meet the Andersons.

Some of the coolest, funniest, loving cats you will ever meet.

Also some of the most Type A people in the Salt Lake County. Well, hold on. As a whole we can be a pretty fun, adventurous, laid back family unit… but we don’t let it show until we finish our early morning workouts on vacation and clean every corner of the house before we leave for date night. Catch my drift? This is us. But I love us. Haters gonna hate, but my Type A fam is pretty fantastic. Well, 4/5 of us hold this quality… bless my papa’s soul, as his free spirit didn’t exactly take in our genetic pool. 

But there are days where my red personality gets the best of me and leaves me in a discouragement of sorts. And when this happens, I feel grateful to call up my fam to help me get back on track. Last week I had one of those dreaded days and called up my older brother, Alex, who is currently living in New York City.

He listened to me vent about work, relationships, and stressful decisions that were on mind and in return he told me how he felt similar pressures in his own life. As we sat on the line with a negative Type A symptom cloud over our heads, he gave a suggestion that immediately brought the sun out and my mood up. With having the rest of my family out of town and all of his roommates being gone for the weekend- left us both alone, work-free, unrestrained for the coming Saturday. With this realization he boldly declared that Saturday was to be our day to do what we want to do.

The day was to be spent doing whatever makes us happy with no guilt regarding if we could be doing something more productive with our time.

The conversation ended with two siblings in different states making a deal to make the following Saturday everything we wanted it to be; to battle off our negative controlling minds and by actually letting ourselves have fun in the midst of our stressful lives.

 So the plan making began of what we both wanted to achieve come the weekend.

So, that was Wednesday.

Do you know how fast your state of mind can change from Wednesday to Saturday?

Uhh, a lot.

By the end of a long work shift on Friday night, I took no regard that the following day was supposed to be 'LaLa’s Day' (nickname created by Alex). Rather I went to bed thinking about all the housework I needed to complete the following morning and with subtle debate in my head if I should wake up in a short five hours to pull out a ten mile run before the heat stole the day.  Like honestly guys, a young adult should not be worrying about that kind of crap. Here I am, house completely to myself, and I’m worrying about getting all the laundry done the following day? #TypeAprobs

Sure enough the next day I was off to complete my own list chores and tedious tasks.. What I did not expect was a text from my bro asking for a full report of how my ‘LaLa Day’ was going.

Ummm, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, in other activities in the like? In other words I said I was “playing mom.”

What happened next was easily the highlight of week. He reluctantly responded back saying that my actions were unacceptable. I was breaking the deal. Simply, I was to stop playing “mom” and go out and have some fun. Or in his words "begin the day of LaLa right now." Before I did anything I asked him how his ‘Aly Day’ was going—he shot back a text of all the amazing things he planned for himself that day; he had already been on a run, went to his favorite bakery, was about to have lunch with a friend, go to Long Island, go to museum… the list goes on. It was right then that I realized that if my over- achieving/productive/time managing/New York internshipping brother can allow himself to so-called throw away an entire day to do what makes him happy, than why not I?

 Right then, I made a list (because us Type-Aers can’t completely throw our systematic actions out the window for good) of everything I wanted to do for myself.

So...

 I went a run (even when it was a solid 95 degrees). Hey, I wanted to run.

I laid out/swam.

I read my new book that I “haven’t had a chance to read”.

I put on some red lipstick.

I went shopping… I actually allowed myself to shop and not worry about saving money... #collegeprobs

I got a facial.

I got Thai takeout.

I got my favorite snow cone in Holladay.

I watched my favorite TV show.

And then I went to bed early with satisfaction and disbelief that I almost surpassed a blissful day as such for the sake of what? changing my bed sheets and getting groceries for the family who would not be returning for another week?

So what’s the whole point of this post you may ask? Besides me ranting about my controlling being...

Well the point is this: Sometimes I really think we don’t take enough time to make ourselves happy.

Currently I’m at a stage in life where I feel like everyone else around me is doing these phenomenal things that not only provides them personal progression but also changes people’s lives (ie a great portion of my friends are serving LDS missions, doing humanitarian trips, etc.). And what am I doing? Uhh working at a clothing store and trying out new recipes? And I guess comparing myself to these people doing these incredible things kinda made me feel useless and, well, discouraged. In other words, unhappy. I guess I felt guilty feeding my own soul with happiness when I could be doing so much for others…

BUT THEN THIS DAY HAPPENED.

And this is what I think

I think serving others can bring you satisfaction like nothing else can in this world. But I also think that there is no shame in treating yourself and taking care of your personal happiness. Because here’s the deal. When you help yourself be happy it reflects in your actions which can become service.

I realized the day I said “yes” to things I loved instead of putting them off, it made me want to say YES to other things and ultimately guided a path of me wanting to to serve others. What’s better service than having positive vibes and helping others around you feel the same? Nothing. Ultimately we don’t need missions and extraordinary opportunity to change the world… all we need is a smile and a hope to brighten people’s days in whatever way we can.

 Taking care of your happiness doesn’t mean you’re selfish, I think that’s a misconstrued concept our society has created. Simply, doing what makes you happy just radiates how you respect yourself. Of course you can’t live your life with only your happiness in mind… but sometimes it’s okay to “no” to saving the world everyday and “yes” to the things that put a smile on your face.

Like, really guys. Its okay. Serve others, serve yourself, and never hesitate that Heavenly Father wants all his children to be happy…Which includes YOU too. Yes he wants us to be humble and always remember Him, but let us remember what humility really means: Humility is understanding that happiness comes from charity and love. Serving others and yourself. Loving others and yourself.

So get your favorite Café Rio salad today. Go on a hike. Go to an amusement park. Take a day off work. Go play some baseball with friends. Spend time with those you love. Go to a movie. Do what makes you happy and do it unapologetically.

Here’s to the boy that wouldn’t let me skip out on my ‘LaLa Day.’ Sure am lucky to have a brother like him, who’s always watching over me and never letting me lose perspective of what this life should be.

Now it’s time for me to pass it on. So to you, dear reader: Say yes and go out and have some fun. Whether you have a Type A personality or not, go out a cease the day!

Trust me,  “enter personal nickname Days” are meant for everyone. Because guess what? 

You deserve to be happy.
And you can be happy...just say
YES. 

 

Love always, 

Lauren

forget you not

I think this post is a little more for me than for anybody else, ha just like all my recent ones were I guess...but it's fine ya? k cool.

Lately, well randomly lately, I've needed this pep talk more than ever. i think that i'm feeling this way because of this weird stage of life that i'm in. this limbo. this place in life where i feel like i don't belong anywhere yet. the place between college and high school haha. 

I often find myself getting caught up in thinking about college and my role at the U next year and i start to worry and over-think things a lot...like most girls, right? so i'm normal? k cool. 

so basically my biggest struggle and worry right now is about....myself. 

i know that we're taught to love ourselves and to keep our confidence high, but i really believe that no one girl is constantly feeling that way 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. there's no way. but hey, if you're reading this right now and you are that one person, make sure to hit me up and let me know of your secrets:)

i think the whole reason why i'm starting to feel down on myself lately is because i'm constantly worrying about all of the girls i'm going to be comparing myself to next year. is that good for myself? of course not! do i still do it? duhhhh. unfortunately, i'm an 18 year old girl who sees her weaknesses more often then her own strengths. i know i don't have a flippin victoria secret model body. i know i'm not the most outgoing person. i know i'm not the prettiest person in the world. i know that my confidence doesn't shine like it should. i know that i make mistakes. and i know that i'm not that perfect girl that i wish i was. 

see and i know that Satan is just trying to get me down, i know that. i really do. i try to fight him off everyday but he knows right when and where to cut me down. he knows my weaknesses and chooses to put them right out in front of my eyes everyday. i know that. i'm not dumb haha. ahh i just really dislike him...you know what though, sometimes knowing that he is behind it all just doesn't help me move past it. and this is one of those nights! 

but you know what does help me move past it? praying to my Heavenly Father. he on the other hand, knows my strengths and knows my potential. in all honesty, a tiny tiny tiny part of me gets excited for these "confidence-lacking sessions" because i know that i can sincerely pray to Him for help. He knows exactly what i need and He knows exactly how to help me. He sends me wonderful friends and family to lift me up down here on earth- i really do feel so lucky for all of the relationships i have here. He sends us so many tools to help us get where we need to be, we just need to use them. He provides so much comfort and peace, that we just need to accept it and believe what He is trying to tell us. He knows i'm His daughter and He knows me better than anybody else. and He knew that i needed to hear my favorite speaker ever, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, give this talk. So as i was just pulling up YouTube on my laptop, this was the first video I saw. 

Forget Me Not - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

so learn to be patient with yourself and learn to love yourself. stop comparing and just live for you. you don't owe anybody anything and you for sure don't owe anybody your faults or your jealousy. surround yourself with good people who help you feel of your divine worth. anybody else that doesn't, isn't worth your time. know that Satan is only here to bring you down and the only thing that is true about his words is what you start to make yourself believe. it's our choice to believe the one person that lives to tear us down...or the one that died to bring us up. 

kinda sappy...but oh well!

just enjoy it babe!


love,
moss