Confessions of a Type A Personality

Confession: I'm a fan of details. 

A fan of the little details that people know us by, that we may take pride in, and ultimately create our characters. Take my best friends for examples- I absolutely adore their little details. The girl who is obsessed with male celebrities. The girl who sings to herself when doing anything and everything. Or the girl who squeezes extra tight when she gives hugs. These are the details I love about my friends and I honestly wouldn’t want them any other way. But here’s the deal, we all have our special details that make us who we are… but sometimes those details don’t seem so endearing or lovely in our own eyes. Rather they are seen as quirks that can be annoying, irritating, and unchangeable.

For me, overall I would say I like who I am. Is that weird to say? Well, too late now. But it’s not like I’m over here gushing over how incredible I am, gosh no. More in the way that I appreciate the details that make me who I am. I’m happy to be the girl who loves buying fresh flowers for my room because they brighten my mood. I’m happy to be the girl that maps/drives out her daily runs the night before. I’m happy to be the girl who always bakes and delivers cookies on Sundays. I’m happy to be the girl uses the word Fearless in a sentence whenever the opportunity presents itself. I like those details. But then there’s those dreaded quirks that honestly just sometimes drive me into the ground. Now for the sake of not embarrassing myself completely and also comprehending that those who know me well know those quirks already.. I’m just going to skip on past that long list of things that drive me (and surely everyone around me) crazy. However, there’s one thing I’ll share about me that I’m not entirely proud nor ashamed to have. Nonetheless, it’s apart of me. It is me. And maybe it’s not all that fantastic to some people, but I’m learning to love this little detailed quirk of mine.

It’s something that I like to call my Type A Personality

“Type A individuals tend to be very competitive and self-critical. They strive toward goals without feeling a sense of joy in their efforts or accomplishments. Type A personalities experience a constant sense of urgency: Type A people seem to be in a constant struggle against the clock.  Often, they quickly become impatient with delays and unproductive time, schedule commitments too tightly, and try to do more than one thing at a time, such as reading while eating or watching television….”

Umm hiiii, meet Lauren Anderson.

In a sense Type A is cool to be as we are are loyal, hard-working, and driven to success. In another, Type A’s are annoyingly intense, struggle to enjoy the moment, and never allow themselves to relax.  Sick, right? Ah my life. Literally.

 Yes having a Type A personality is exhausting at times (here I am, acting like I’m dying of a disease… I probably need to chill a bit---> perfect example of my problem people!), luckily I’m not the only one dealing with this dilemma.

Meet the Andersons.

Some of the coolest, funniest, loving cats you will ever meet.

Also some of the most Type A people in the Salt Lake County. Well, hold on. As a whole we can be a pretty fun, adventurous, laid back family unit… but we don’t let it show until we finish our early morning workouts on vacation and clean every corner of the house before we leave for date night. Catch my drift? This is us. But I love us. Haters gonna hate, but my Type A fam is pretty fantastic. Well, 4/5 of us hold this quality… bless my papa’s soul, as his free spirit didn’t exactly take in our genetic pool. 

But there are days where my red personality gets the best of me and leaves me in a discouragement of sorts. And when this happens, I feel grateful to call up my fam to help me get back on track. Last week I had one of those dreaded days and called up my older brother, Alex, who is currently living in New York City.

He listened to me vent about work, relationships, and stressful decisions that were on mind and in return he told me how he felt similar pressures in his own life. As we sat on the line with a negative Type A symptom cloud over our heads, he gave a suggestion that immediately brought the sun out and my mood up. With having the rest of my family out of town and all of his roommates being gone for the weekend- left us both alone, work-free, unrestrained for the coming Saturday. With this realization he boldly declared that Saturday was to be our day to do what we want to do.

The day was to be spent doing whatever makes us happy with no guilt regarding if we could be doing something more productive with our time.

The conversation ended with two siblings in different states making a deal to make the following Saturday everything we wanted it to be; to battle off our negative controlling minds and by actually letting ourselves have fun in the midst of our stressful lives.

 So the plan making began of what we both wanted to achieve come the weekend.

So, that was Wednesday.

Do you know how fast your state of mind can change from Wednesday to Saturday?

Uhh, a lot.

By the end of a long work shift on Friday night, I took no regard that the following day was supposed to be 'LaLa’s Day' (nickname created by Alex). Rather I went to bed thinking about all the housework I needed to complete the following morning and with subtle debate in my head if I should wake up in a short five hours to pull out a ten mile run before the heat stole the day.  Like honestly guys, a young adult should not be worrying about that kind of crap. Here I am, house completely to myself, and I’m worrying about getting all the laundry done the following day? #TypeAprobs

Sure enough the next day I was off to complete my own list chores and tedious tasks.. What I did not expect was a text from my bro asking for a full report of how my ‘LaLa Day’ was going.

Ummm, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, in other activities in the like? In other words I said I was “playing mom.”

What happened next was easily the highlight of week. He reluctantly responded back saying that my actions were unacceptable. I was breaking the deal. Simply, I was to stop playing “mom” and go out and have some fun. Or in his words "begin the day of LaLa right now." Before I did anything I asked him how his ‘Aly Day’ was going—he shot back a text of all the amazing things he planned for himself that day; he had already been on a run, went to his favorite bakery, was about to have lunch with a friend, go to Long Island, go to museum… the list goes on. It was right then that I realized that if my over- achieving/productive/time managing/New York internshipping brother can allow himself to so-called throw away an entire day to do what makes him happy, than why not I?

 Right then, I made a list (because us Type-Aers can’t completely throw our systematic actions out the window for good) of everything I wanted to do for myself.

So...

 I went a run (even when it was a solid 95 degrees). Hey, I wanted to run.

I laid out/swam.

I read my new book that I “haven’t had a chance to read”.

I put on some red lipstick.

I went shopping… I actually allowed myself to shop and not worry about saving money... #collegeprobs

I got a facial.

I got Thai takeout.

I got my favorite snow cone in Holladay.

I watched my favorite TV show.

And then I went to bed early with satisfaction and disbelief that I almost surpassed a blissful day as such for the sake of what? changing my bed sheets and getting groceries for the family who would not be returning for another week?

So what’s the whole point of this post you may ask? Besides me ranting about my controlling being...

Well the point is this: Sometimes I really think we don’t take enough time to make ourselves happy.

Currently I’m at a stage in life where I feel like everyone else around me is doing these phenomenal things that not only provides them personal progression but also changes people’s lives (ie a great portion of my friends are serving LDS missions, doing humanitarian trips, etc.). And what am I doing? Uhh working at a clothing store and trying out new recipes? And I guess comparing myself to these people doing these incredible things kinda made me feel useless and, well, discouraged. In other words, unhappy. I guess I felt guilty feeding my own soul with happiness when I could be doing so much for others…

BUT THEN THIS DAY HAPPENED.

And this is what I think

I think serving others can bring you satisfaction like nothing else can in this world. But I also think that there is no shame in treating yourself and taking care of your personal happiness. Because here’s the deal. When you help yourself be happy it reflects in your actions which can become service.

I realized the day I said “yes” to things I loved instead of putting them off, it made me want to say YES to other things and ultimately guided a path of me wanting to to serve others. What’s better service than having positive vibes and helping others around you feel the same? Nothing. Ultimately we don’t need missions and extraordinary opportunity to change the world… all we need is a smile and a hope to brighten people’s days in whatever way we can.

 Taking care of your happiness doesn’t mean you’re selfish, I think that’s a misconstrued concept our society has created. Simply, doing what makes you happy just radiates how you respect yourself. Of course you can’t live your life with only your happiness in mind… but sometimes it’s okay to “no” to saving the world everyday and “yes” to the things that put a smile on your face.

Like, really guys. Its okay. Serve others, serve yourself, and never hesitate that Heavenly Father wants all his children to be happy…Which includes YOU too. Yes he wants us to be humble and always remember Him, but let us remember what humility really means: Humility is understanding that happiness comes from charity and love. Serving others and yourself. Loving others and yourself.

So get your favorite Café Rio salad today. Go on a hike. Go to an amusement park. Take a day off work. Go play some baseball with friends. Spend time with those you love. Go to a movie. Do what makes you happy and do it unapologetically.

Here’s to the boy that wouldn’t let me skip out on my ‘LaLa Day.’ Sure am lucky to have a brother like him, who’s always watching over me and never letting me lose perspective of what this life should be.

Now it’s time for me to pass it on. So to you, dear reader: Say yes and go out and have some fun. Whether you have a Type A personality or not, go out a cease the day!

Trust me,  “enter personal nickname Days” are meant for everyone. Because guess what? 

You deserve to be happy.
And you can be happy...just say
YES. 

 

Love always, 

Lauren

genuine

as i sat on the church benches in sacrament meeting today, i reflected on my week, thinking about what i need to work on. i try and make these thoughts occur weekly because i know that there isn't any progression without reflection. i considered the week: remembering things that i could congratulate myself for and also the things that i failed at. i take into account what i saw during the week that i enjoyed and what things i need to cease from becoming. 

what stood out to me the most, was when people were genuine.  

see and it's funny because many things lately have all brought me back to this idea of being genuine. 

i want to live genuinely-in all aspects. because i think then, my life would be more filling! as cheesy as it sounds, i really think it would. and i've been searching for that one thing that's missing anyways so i think it'll help. 

maura dern said it perfectly, 

"i want to act by not only focusing around kindness, but on a general interest in people. avoiding the shallow conversations and really getting to know them." 

i'm sick of all the small talk and casual conversations filled with the same old questions. (ha lets be real, nobody truly wants to hear about what you're majoring in because then it just adds more stress to your indecisiveness.) i want to be genuinely interested in people and how they are doing and what they are doing. i want to know if they're genuinely doing okay so then i can know how to help. we always have infinite room to love and serve someone. 

 i really do think being genuinely involved with a couple friends is better than being shallow with many. and with those friends, you've got to treat them like friends. to genuinely love them, you've got to love their mistakes, faults, and talents-you've got to love them fully. so make those genuine efforts and take that time to love and serve them fully. find joy in your friends and family.

>>------------>

another part of the genuine life i want to live is by revolving myself around the genuine things in life: the things that really bring value and make people feel of true worth. 

i want to live with passion. referring to my lovely friend haley hilton's blog, she talked about the importance of living with passion. what is life if it isn't with passion? you're wasting your time if you're not doing what you love. do what you want and do what you love and everything else will work itself out. because when you hope and work towards good, the work will work for your good. 

see and i think it's good to focus on the genuine things too so then you can be genuinely happy. i feel like the world has changed the view on what can make people genuinely happy. 

for example: 

A.) the image of social media 

i love social media but i hate social media, i truly do! yet, i still involve myself with it because Satan continuously convinces me that i can find true happiness from it. stupid stupid stupid. (ha i'm going to try and do something about that btw.) but for me, social media never helps. i always find myself comparing other people's highs to my lows when i log on. yet, we all do it-we all post on social media for one reason or another. maybe to get attention from that one guy, to show how great the weekend was, or to simply post just to post and see how much publicity we can get. but see, when we get caught up in competing and comparing our lives with others, we forget the great highlights right in front of us-we forget to enjoy today. 

these distractions are "costly apparel" and arise prideful feelings that aren't needed in our lives. they keep us from enjoying true happiness and enable Satan to make us believe that they will bring us satisfactory joy. we get so caught up in thinking about how we're going to top the pictures tomorrow, or how we're going to look better than that girl tomorrow, or how we're going to tweet the funniest tweet tomorrow, etc. etc.... we need not worry about tomorrow because it will sort itself out, we just need to enjoy the genuine things of today and help others do the same. 

"I asked before, what can a person gain from beauty?  The answer is nothing.  Now, what can a person gain from knowing they are a child of God?  Everything.  What can a person gain knowing there is more to them than a facebook “like”?  That their character and actions prove to make a much more noticeable mark on the world than hitting 100 “tweets?”  We should be teaching our children they are beautiful long before they ever have a facebook or twitter account.  The kind of beauty I'm talking about is taught, not put together in front of a mirror with makeup and hairspray.  Some of the most beautiful people you and I know would never appear on the cover of a People magazine.  Now I'm not saying we shouldn't feel good about how we look.  Our bodies are gifts from God and we should honor them as such. I'm not saying it's bad to walk out of the door feeling good in your new jeans.  Heck, I’m not even saying you shouldn’t feel good when your neighbor compliments your looks.  What I AM saying is that the foundation of our self worth should not be made of “likes.”  It should be made of the content of our character and the true beauty that lives inside all of us." 

-Alyson Bauer

i don't want to focus on my looks or how to outwardly impress people anymore. i want to focus on how i make people feel and how i am feeling on the inside about myself. i want to be sure of myself through feeling confident of inside self. i want to develop my talents and love myself and others with more sincerity. i want to set down that technology and ignore that social media sting so i can develop my relationships face to face rather than screen to screen. i want to acknowledge how blessed i am and immerse myself in those blessings. i want to ignore the "costly apparels" of the world and find true happiness in the genuine lovelies of the world. 

so if that isn't enough rambling, i don't know what is! 

love,
moss