what's best

YES. Yes I am an advocate for doing what makes you happy and acting in the way that you want. I believe that the things that make you happy and the desires you have are the things that you're supposed to pursue; they're the aspects that will bring a satisfied, enjoyed life. That's the advice I live by and that I always give out. You all know this.

See but what happens when what you want isn't what's best? What happens when what you thought was best for you isn't what our Heavenly Father has in store for you? This is the part where I get incredibly confused and frustrated. Now if you really really think about this concept, it's so hard to accept. How is it that something I want so badly and have worked so hard for, isn't what is best and isn't what I'm supposed to pursue? I don't understand.

But see I think I've finally figured out how to deal with this conflicting issue that has engulfed my mind for the whole past flippin semester. Did it take 4 months to finally realize it? 

Maybe...but goodness to say, I've finally figured it out. 

Lets all shout hallelujah. 

It's all about shifting your desires, changing your perspective and deciding what you want more. 

I always thought I knew how to trust in the Lord; that I had it down and it wasn't something I struggled with. But nope!! hahaha these last couple months have shown me just how much I fight His will sometimes. When we consider trusting in the Lord, there are some basic facts that we need to understand:

1. He has a plan for us.

2. He wants the best for us.

3. He knows what is best for each of us.

4. His plan is shaped to give us the absolute best.

Knowing that, we can begin to alter our own desires to match His. Because when we realize that we ultimately want what's best for ourselves, we are in line with His individually shaped plan for us. Here's the key and what took me 4 months to figure out: 

~You've got to want what's best for yourself MORE THAN what you want at this small moment.~ 

You have to want it more than your dream job that the other applicant got, more than that boy you wanted to date but chose someone else, more than a humanitarian trip to Africa but you had to stay home because of money, more than believing you need to listen to the culture and go on a mission, more than anything else or any other conflict that presents itself in life. What is meant for you will be yours, so learn to let go.

You have got to trust in Him.

It's a simple request - "trust in Him and He will deliver us"...

Nahum 1:7

7 The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in Him.

2 Samuel 22:31

31 As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried; He is a buckler to all them that trust in Him.

Psalms 62:8

8 Trust in Him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before Him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.

Mosiah 7:33

33 But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in Him, and serve Him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, He will, according to His own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage. 

• • We've got to have patience that He will give us what we need and what is best. 
    "There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"
    - Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf ("Continuing in Patience")
    Help Him help you. Make those needed, significant steps towards His plan for you. Try hard. Focus on the goal. Don't hope for it more than you work for it. Even if it's tough, we can trust that He will be there every step of the way. If His plan brought you to it, He'll for sure have a plan to bring you through it. He even provided a Savior who has gone through your exact situation to help you. 
    
    
    So try your very best to put all of your trust in Him. Who better to guide your life than our Heavenly Father? Alter your will to be in line with His; because ultimately, it'll shape your desires towards what is best for yourself - and why wouldn't you want that? Touché everybody. Haha touché...
    
    
    
    
    
    p.s. annika and bri it's your turn to write :)

These are the Days

Lately I've been at a loss of words. 

weird, right? for the girl who can never stop talking and/or writing can no longer put together sentences? But mostly it's because I haven't been able to find the right words. The right words to explain my feelings of gratitude about Paris, my friends, my family, my life. There are just no words. And truthfully, I don't think I will ever know the words, and for a writer of sorts, that's hard to accept. But I'm trying this new thing where I allow myself to believe that I actually don't know it all and just go with it. I've given up on trying to cram this experience into a simple phrase or unfitting box but rather tried to really live it. 

I've stopped trying to take my camera out at every picture perfect opportunity and I've stopped trying to withhold my taste buds from what they really want (this might come back to bite me in the butt.. literally). I've stopped worrying about what I'm missing at home and I've stopped being hard on myself for the things I really can't control. To be short and sweet, I've just stopped. And in the irony of that action I've started to live. 

It's been in that little sliver of space- of stopping and starting and living- that I have found myself. And I know that sounds cheesy and sort of naïve, but I believe it. I also believe that you constantly find yourself over and over and over again in this life. It's not a one and done sort of deal. I've found the carefree spirit that I thought I let slip away. I've discovered friendships and characteristics within them that make feel whole. I've experienced the extraordinary and I've found myself matching them equally to the wonderful ordinary. 

I would love to categorize all these lessons and feelings into one word and call it good, and I think we all think we immediately fall back on the word "happy." But I think it's more than that, or less, I really don't know. You see, I'm sometimes at war with the label "happy" because what's the opposite of happy, depressed? No, it most definitely is not. Truth is, we've all been in that spot. Ya know, that spot of not sad but not happy, just sorta- stuck. And you're looking around you, on Facebook or Twitter.. and sometimes you even find yourself in the depths of stalking your best friend from first grade's Instagram claiming that she lives a perfect life… 

That's not right. 

And even more importantly, that's not true. 

We all get stuck. Every single one of us. 

Yes, even that one person that you consider the exception. 

 Even the girl who lives in Paris. 

Being stuck doesn't mean you're aren't happy, you're just stuck. 

I don't need to go into my personal set of trials and struggles that have been delicately or harshly placed into my hands. Quite frankly, we all have our own hidden closets of tragedy and pain that we don't care to open up and sometimes it's okay to not give anyone the key. It's not important that everyone knows our struggles so we can be "understood," rather it's important to have mercy for others and their unknown battles and to be understanding. 

And so it goes with the declaration of getting "stuck" comes the million-dollar-question, how do you get unstuck? Well that's when I start focusing on living. Living for Friday nights drinking hot chocolate. Living for sunday mornings and the opportunity to partake of the sacrament. Living for chats with friends on walks or via internet. Living for shared crêpes and wiping off Nutella your friend's face.  Living for better memories, the kind of memories that Instagram doesn't get to steal, the memories that make you the person you are. Living to be nothing but yourself and letting no person or circumstance take it away you.

With living comes forgetting about capturing the Insta worthy picture, immersing yourself in new friendships and opportunities, and reminding yourself and others that "these are the days"- even on days where you get lost in the pouring rain and are eating Mac n' Cheese out of the pan. And gradually it's through these little treasures of life and appreciative way of living that we find ourselves unstuck. Finally free, up in the open air thinking, why haven't I been doing this all along? and why don't I help others to get up here to enjoy the view as well. 

Let's stop waiting for trips to France to figure out these stuck moments and let's start living for each day and all it brings. Turns out you don't need Paris to be unstuck...

Once upon a time I pictured myself walking down the cobblestone streets in Paris imagining to be saying "this is living." Now I hear the sounds of my friends laughter and look at their glistening eyes and correctly think, 

"No, this is."

Love Always, 

Lauren

straight bummin'

straight bummin'

:a phrase that I've heard quite a bit lately from various individuals. It's a term that we'd say doesn't have a clear definition but is clearly felt. It's that feeling that everybody hates and tries to avoid, the feeling of dissatisfaction from an unknown source, that indescribable "blahhhhh" feeling (haha), that feeling of neither happiness nor misery, but right dead-set in the middle: "straight bummin".

Now kudos to those individuals that haven't felt this before; you've found your cure, you've found the solution that works for you, and you've successfully avoided this incredibly annoying feeling. Usually feelings of remorse, guilt, jealousy, sadness, or anger are easily fixed because you can trace to the direct source. But, when you're "straight bummin'" that source is untraceable, which then makes it hard to resolve.
This particular feeling could derive from anything: the monotonous daily routine I follow for work and school, or that I'm part of the small group of girls that discovered a mission isn't in their predetermined plan, or that more than 75% of the people in my age group are gone, or that I'm at a point in my life where huge decisions are being made on the daily -  i do. not. know. It's incredibly frustrating and gets old pretty dang quick. I hope somebody can vouch for this because it drives me nuts! These feelings bring you down and limit simple motives like hope, determination, and thrill from happening. They limit you from freaking enjoy this amazing life that we've been so blessed to receive. Ha as you can tell, I really really despise this "straight bummin" thing.

Now this post isn't meant for you to build a self-pitying novel about your life (we all have those once in a while, but they're honestly always ineffective and never helpful). This post is to ultimately change this lame stage that we all go through. Because I found my solution, I know that anybody can find theirs. In these past few weeks, and through many different experiences, I think I've finally discovered the secret to finding the cure. So I'm here to help those of you (trek on!! :) ) that are still in that rut and have a deep desire to get out.

I've always believed that a genuine, caring listener is the cure to anything; a person who truly has your best interest at heart can make any problem go away (along with a long vacation to Lake Powell :) ). Being surrounded by people who desire your personal happiness can never disappoint. My awesome, incredibly genuine, intelligent listener dad is one of these people in my life. I've been blessed with somebody that knows how I'm feeling even when I haven't said a word. My dad knew I was "bummin'". So as he cautiously attempted to enter the complicated young-adult female mind, I could already feel his genuine concern and readied advice. He patiently sat and listened to my confusing, indistinct explanation about how I was feeling unsure, uneasy, and unknowing about just about everything in my life. Then, with such humility and grace, asked...

"Kate, what in life, makes you content?" 

Now not only am I the most indecisive person in the world, but I'm also horrible at giving direct, firm answers. I had no idea the answer to that simple question. Who knew that such a straight forward question could be the answer to such an indistinct concept? This isn't an easy question to answer so I don't expect you to know right away, but seriously consider and think about it. This is the cure. This can change your "straight bummin'" days into "straight livin'" days. So when you're feeling lost or insignificant or unsure, take your time and focus on this idea.

"This is a simple but critical lesson to learn. When stress levels rise, when distress appears, when tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up with the same frantic pace or even accelerate, thinking somehow that the more rushed our pace, the better off we will be. If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most." - President Uchtdorf

You've got to discover what brings satisfaction to your life and the "what's" and "why's" to your daily actions. Ultimately, you've got to find what your purpose is. Why do you go to work and school? Why does your path not lead to a mission? What are you doing with your life while everybody is gone? Why are you deciding on those certain life-altering choices? 

"They who have no central purpose in their life fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubled, and self-pityings, all of which are indications of weakness, which lead, just as surely as deliberately planned sins, to failure, unhappiness, and loss, for weakness cannot persist in a power-evolving universe. "

Now not everybody is going to agree on one universal cure. Not everybody's solution is going to be the same because it's based on such a personal level. But I'm telling you mine so you can find yours. 

As I've pondered this thought for the past couple of weeks, I've discovered that what makes me content is pretty simple-it's seeing others content. Nothing brings me more satisfaction than seeing the people I love happy. Because this brings me so much genuine joy, I know that this is my purpose in this life! As cheesy and yet, obvious, as it sounds, the path that we are supposed to be on is supposed to bring us the most joy. So, making others happy makes me most happy. I realized that I live to make sure people are content. So even when I'm "bummin" or distraught or upset, my motivation comes from my desire to brings others up. I want to be happy so I can make others happy.

One of my good friends nanny's a family that loss their mother recently. In Relief Society a couple weeks ago she stated,

"Some days I just feel down and want to sit around and mope about my own life and I don't have any motivation to be happy or positive. But then I go to my job and see these adorable kids and see how they've lost their mom and I realize that they need someone to be that light. They need someone to be happy for them and be that example during this hard loss."

So on those days that I can't be content for myself, I'm going to make an effort to be happy for the people around me. I want to emulate the light that I am given everyday through Christ. I want to live in a hopeful, positive way so that I can have The Spirit to guide me on how I can help others be happy. This is my goal and this is what I work towards and focus on everyday. I go to work and school because I love the relationships I have with people there, I chose to be content with not serving a mission because I value the predetermined plan and love my Father in Heaven who created it for me, I'm staying here to grow individually so I can be my best self to serve everybody when they get home, and I'm living according to my goals so I can make the right life-changing decisions. Because I remember and focus on my purpose, those bummin' days cease.

So discover what makes you content and satisfied with your days. Happiness is so important-if not the most important-in this life. Think, decide and act with purpose. If you can't find it right away, start putting yourself out there. Try new things-there's an infinite amount of options. Make goals and work towards something. Don't let that bummin' come back!

"Those who are not prepared for the apprehension of a great purpose, should fix the thoughts upon the faultless performance of their duty, no matter how insignificant their task may appear."

love you all of course! this one is dedicated to you lovely ladies!

love,

moss

Go Get It

I always think it's funny to think of how people come up with blog post ideas. Like what made them think, "hey I want to write about that doormat" or "yes, I definitely need to post about what my water bottle taught me today." Like really, where do those moments come from where you can hardly wait to write about that little something. That little something that makes us stop everything we are doing and go YES. WRITE, NOW. But as silly as it sounds, those moments do come, and the urgency is very real (and don't worry, I know I'm a writer geek. Whatevs) Well, for me it came for me today while untangling a gigantic knot consisting of 5 necklaces (oh and it makes for a super fun time when they are all silver too) as a result of being too lazy to unpack them twelve days ago... and effortlessly settling into some deep thought about my time in France thus far. Which of course has drove my ambition to write..and possibly procrastinate my tangled mess for a bit longer... 

Coming to study abroad in France is a dream. Let's be real, it's crazy exciting, but crazy real too. Three months in a foreign country? So much opportunity to learn, grow, experience, yada yada yada. But never forget there's another (quite nerve-racking) side of the dream. It's the crap-I-don't-speak-french and wait-this-doesn't-feel-like-home side. It's the side that consists of some homesick nights, unfamiliar food, and getting lost on the metro errrday. But it's an adventure, just like I wanted. 

Before I left people would ask me "Are you crazy excited?" or "So what's on your agenda for the next three months?" And each time I would just give them the reaction they wanted, the dropped jaw, wide-eyed smile that I was just sooo excited. A little fake? maybe. A white lie? not entirely. OF COURSE I was excited. Why else would I sign up? le duh. But I was scared. This was new, I was alone, and wasn't exactly sure what I wanted out of the program. And let's be real, I just knew I literally had no idea what I was signing up for. But before I knew it, my bags were packed and I was on my way to the land of crepes and Ratatouille (disney nerd, what up). As I sat down on the plane I had two immediate thoughts that consumed the entire 11 hour flight. One being, "ya, okay, this guy next to me has the worst b.o." and the second, "What do I want out of these three months?"

Adventure, obviously. But I knew there was something more… I just wasn't sure what it was. 

So I got off that plane and the "adventure" officially began. So far it has included some snail dinners, some deep belly laughs, far too many (but worthwhile) pastries, and never ending aching feet (which won't be going away anytime soon). But more than anything it has given me some time to really think- about home, myself, my future, and this incredible opportunity. And it has taken me 12 days, but I found it. I think I have finally have found what I want for myself these coming months. 

And here's the deal, I'm not going to say what it is. 

Not to be nagging, not to be attention seeking, but because I really think you could gain so much more for yourself by not. (Ah-hah the blog post takes a twist :)) But rather, how bout we stop comparing our adventures to each other's and start soaking up our own. Ya feel me? Instead, find what you want to make of yourself these coming months. If these past two weeks have taught me anything it's that opportunity for adventure is literally anywhere you're willing to look. And of course people will say, "But you're in France, it's so easy to say that." But I'm serious. I'm seriously looking forward to the time I get home so I can get down to business to change some things in my life. 

Being away I've discovered habits are good, structure and order are fabuloussss!.. but are also sometimes the culprit of us saying those daunting phrases of "my life is boring" or "nothing is happening in my life." But here's what's awesome, we don't have to be the victim if we don't want to be. We can make our days adventurous, our dreams actually real, we really can make what we want of our lives! And I just didn't realize this because now I'm in this fascinating country-- uh WRONGO. This whole perception that I'm free from trouble and the real world because I'm abroad, well it's actually hilariously not true. Life here- It's wonderful but it's hard. And it's a blessing but it's also a trial too. Everyday I'm learning something about myself, and everyday I'm beginning to understand that an adventurous life isn't based off opportunity, it's on how we want to see the world we live in. 

So friends, if you're up for a challenge, I'm throwing out there that you sit down and really think what these coming months to be for yourself. Now caution, sometimes things don't always go as planned and sometimes the wind gets in the way (as I'm casually ignoring the crawling spider(s) of my new bedroom)- but the good news is, when you know what you want your life to be, you have the power to adjust your sails to get there. So make some goals, be happy, and never undermine the opportunities that are placed right beneath your feet. And whether we are abroad, at school, or anywhere else- make these next months (and years, of course) yours and let's inspire each other to make more of our lives. 

And just in case you didn't know- Your dreams are important and possible, your ability is wrongfully underrated, and you really do have the power to change the world! Let's get off Netflix and go make something of our days. Stop planning on tomorrows and start living today. And that little dream or secret desire of yours.. go get it. It's worth it, I'm sure of it. 

Love and MISS you all!

 ('specially you ladies, you know who you are)

I'll be sure to eat enough macaroons for you all… 

not like I don't do that already… awk. 

Love always, Laur

Fresh.

Here's the deal. I really really try not to be nostalgic. Like okay, I get the past is the past and you need to move on and blah blah blah. But every once in awhile, I think it's a okay to take a stroll down memory lane. To remember the thoughts, the fears, the game changers.. all the things that led you to where you are now. I think it's okay to celebrate how far you've come, to long for the things that are no longer in your grasp, and to recollect the memories that made your heart warm and smile bright. Of course you can't do this all the time because then you would ignore all things available to you in the present- but sometimes being nostalgic is one of the most comforting things for the mind. Maybe because it helps you gain perspective or even provides hope. It reminds you that the things that you thought were a w f u l, weren't all that bad. And the things that brought you bliss, were actually the things you ignored. It's nostalgia that ironically motivates us to make the most of every current moment and gives us the strength to see the good in the midst of bad because before you know it, those "times" of our life are vanished and become shelved memories and lessons. So maybe people get sick of remember whens and what I learned stories, but at the end of the day I know my intentions and understand why I take trips down memory lane. Because to me it's not about reliving, it's about sharing. Sharing advice, opinions, hope, a helpful to hand to those who are facing change and challenges that I have been privileged to encounter already. Truth is, I've always longed to have an older sister to guide my unknown paths, help direct to me to the good life, and teach me methods to avoid the demons that tend to get in the way. Obviously for me, this is not the case. But not having a sister has has inspired me to assure similar, wandering girls out there, that I got you. And this post, it's not for me, it's for you. And whether you need one or not, you have an older sister that has your back.

News around the block is that you start your freshman year within a few short days. You probably have about 2374893 questions, a wee bit of sadness, but a whole lot of excitement. You're ready, and you know it, but sometimes the nerves and unfamiliarity of the unknown messes with your confidence. How am I going to handle school, will I make friends, what will happen with friends back at home, how will I manage without my mom???…. the list goes on. But ultimately there's only one honest question that you want to be answered. The funny thing is, you don't even know it's a question…not yet, anyway.

Right now, it's not a question, it's an expectation. But one day, it will creep up on you without you even knowing... and you'll subconsciously begin to ask... and before you know it you'll silently be demanding answers of how to solve the improbable. But maybe, just maybe, if you let me be your older sister for a minute or two I can give you a cheat sheet to the answer. And maybe help you avoid the mess I got in my freshman year. And hopefully guide you to a year of that you will never want to forget.

What's the question you (will) ask:

What can I do to have a great freshman year?

silly, right? I know, I know. You're moving away from home, you're on your own, there's new guys+friends to meet, you're living with your best friend.. How much more do I need to have great freshman year? That's what I thought at least. I literally expected nothing but the best. And to be fair to myself, in a way I am glad I had expectations for happiness and smooth sailing; my expectations weren't necessarily bad, my methods of achieving them was where I messed up. I put my confidence in things that really made reaching my expectations unrealistic. Soon enough I experienced things that shook me and left my heart in a tangle and soon enough I realized that things like having the perfect roommate or class schedule wasn't going to cut it long term. If I wanted a great year and lasting happiness, I was going to have to rely on stronger principles and develop my faith in something greater than myself. And so that's what I did. And even though it took me a little longer than I would've liked, I'm perfectly fine with it now. Because now I get to pass on the lessons I learned on to you. Read if you will, apply if you want, but these are the things I wished I knew going into my freshman year. 

1. Make no assumptions.
 Make no assumptions when it comes to meeting new people, your class schedule, or even to yourself. Assumptions kill so many opportunities without you even knowing it and even limits your ability to grow. I kid you not, the first time one of my best friends from school, I straight up said, "there's no way I will be friends with that girl, we are way too different."  SO wrong and so grateful that I was. Don't assume that you're not smart enough, don't assume that that cute boy won't go for a girl like you, don't assume that you aren't able to handle all that's thrown at you. Just don't. Forget the assumptions and you will come into your own like never before.

2. Forget the "Should"
With freshman year comes so much freedom, but sometimes it's super easy to get lost and just go with the crowd. Oh, I should go to that party because everyone else is there. I should major in this because people say it's applicable to most lifestyles. I should do this and that, and do everything that people say would be "good" for me. Forget it all. Do you things are right for you. Choose that music major, date who you want to date, go to the library on a friday night if that's what you want! Forget the should. You'll discover that when you start doing what you think is right for you, you will find the path you're meant to be on. 

3. Don't be afraid to stand alone. 
There's going to be times this year where you will be surrounded by so many friends and new places.. and then there's times where you will feel a whole new level of loneliness. And the thing is, we act like being lonely is something to be ashamed or embarrassed about.  Being alone is nothing to be embarrassed about. When you have the chance to stand alone, you grow in ways that are so perfect and personal that you won't want to change it for anything. Don't get me wrong, staying locked up is not a fun way to spend your life, but do not underestimate the experience of growth and love from God in those moments of darkness and sorrow. And hey news flash people, SO many people just like you are feeling the exact same way! So don't let standing alone keep you from going to that soccer game or going to dinner, chances are you'll find someone just like you, feeling the exact same way. 

4. Have gratitude.
Obvious, right? But seriously, have gratitude for anything and everything. Yes, be thankful for the big opportunities but be more grateful for the little things. I know that sounds a little reversed, but what I've learned is that the everyday wonders matter more than the every-once-in-awhile events. Find gratitude when you feel like there is nothing to be grateful for, even if it's as simple as "I got a killer parking spot today." But for real, that has made it into my gratitude journal. No shame. Having gratitude will seriously make the biggest difference in your year. Be grateful and celebrate the the little things because they will be the things you will cherish the most in the end.  

5. Make it yours. 
The most important thing you can recognize about freshman year is that it's going to be different for everyone. I made the big mistake that my freshman year was going to be exactly like the girls' who went before me. You're going to look at girls and think "wow, their life is perfect." But let me assure you, no matter how perfect it may be, yours is better because it's yours. Don't try to squeeze your life into the mold that you think it should be, live your life the way you want it to be and become the person you want to be. Don't let those perfectly edited pictures on social media convince you that your freshman year isn't wonderful because it most definitely is. This year is Yours, don't let anyone or anything take that away from you. 

Alright, your annoying, nostalgic older sister is done rambling. But seriously, go have fun out there and find what makes your heart happy. Maybe these tips of advice will help you get there, maybe not. But if you take anything from me just remember this: it's not about where you are, what you're majoring in, or how freakin' lost and alone you may feel... It's about your mindset. Have a positive mind and you will reach your full potential and will surely have a blast of a year. 

Freshman year. Take this new start and make it all you want to be. And never forget- when you bomb your political science test, get locked out of your room with only a towel on, stress about the freshman fifteen, or any other twists that come your way- you have a older sister that has your back. 

Love Always, 

Lauren 

Staying Grounded

If there's one thing I learned while being in California for the past six weeks, it's that being away from home is the best way to find who you are. That sounds so cliche, but I can wholeheartedly say it's the truth. I've spent the last 24 hours thinking about my trip and the person I was when I was away from everything I know. It's like you have all this free time to think about everything that happens to you and how you reacted and you decide what type of person you are comfortable being. It's a crazy thing to think about and I'm just coming to these conclusions after being home 6 hours.
I felt that I got to choose what made me happy instead of what I was being pulled to do. I got to decide what entertains me and the type of people I want to surround myself with. I'm not saying I now know the type of person that I am, but It'd like to think that I've made a few discoveries.
I've realized that dance brings me a lot of joy and fulfillment. I am whole when I am dancing and it's a way for me to express myself. I think I would implode if I couldn't dance.
I've realized that humans are meant to be active beings and I'm happier when I exercise more regularly.
I've realized I'm comfortable around people who are themselves and have a different perspective on life. I like being with people who challenge my thinking and are witty. They make life exciting and fresh.
I've realized that the majority of Utah is a bubble. I hate to say it, but outside of Utah there are different life goals and expectations.
I've realized that I am who I am and I'd rather be "hated for who I am instead of loved for who I'm not." It's hard to follow that concept, but the best feeling in the world is loving yourself for who you, why be anything different?
I've realized that I should never settle. I can always be a better person and work harder than I did the day before.
Even though I feel like I've learned so many new things, the one thing that's stuck with me is the importance of staying grounded.
 The night before we left California, my Aunt said, "Every person you guys worked with commented on how grounded you were." I really didn't understand what she meant until I got home.
The way I interpreted grounded is that we stay true to who we are. We had a strong sense of what was important to us and we stuck with it. We do our best to work hard, never complain and treat others with respect.
I think that we stayed grounded in California because we didn't have very many distractions. We were there to work and that's it. We weren't distracted by friends, school, or other family members. I think it's very important to find a place that can bring you back to your roots and help you stay grounded. Otherwise, we get lost in the confusion of life and are never happy.
My advice would be to find who, what and where keeps you grounded. Find that something that reminds you of what makes you happy and the type of person you were born to be.

XOXO annikakae

Stains on the Floor

A little while ago, I was doing some chores around my house when I had a hard realization. I was not in a good mood. I felt really discouraged and sad. And it was weird- has this happened to anyone else before? You know, when something distracts you for a minute, and then you have to remind yourself why you were upset a few minutes before? Well, that happened to me, and it was a powerful moment because I couldn’t even recall where this bad mood had come from. And it made me t h i n k.

What had I done that day? Like a lot of other days this summer, I’d woken up maybe later than I needed to, wasted a good amount of time on my phone, and then started on chores and was getting ready for work.  There was absolutely NOTHING that had gone wrong. And I’ve had days like this before, but I finally realized that maybe I was in a bad mood because I woke up, and instead of saying my prayers and doing something productive or even taking half an hour to entertain myself with something uplifting, I’d spent it utterly breaking myself down by not only comparing my physical appearance, but what I had done the night before, or what my biggest event of the summer had been- to all of the pictures edited to perfection in front of me.

I think we’ve all heard before that we tend to “compare our behind the scenes with others’ highlighted realities” but what seems to happen is that we hear this and realize it’s true, but do nothing to overcome the twisted way of thinking that challenges all of us in some way or another.

Not too long ago, Marjorie Pearce came and gave a devotional to the women in my ward. She talked to us about beliefs. Beliefs tell us how to feel about our experiences. Each of us have a collection of beliefs- and in this collection are:

 Capital Truths or eternal truths- such as “God loves me and has a plan for me”

Secondary “truths”- which are not eternal and have come from other sources or other people’s beliefs: “The ACT test reflects my academic abilities”

And LIES- “Nobody likes me. I’m not pretty or capable or worth anything at all”

Beliefs tell us how to feel about our experiences. So if you believe that “nobody likes you”, it doesn’t matter if a guy calls you and asks you on a date, you’ll tell yourself it was because he had nothing else to do or it was out of pity or something ridiculous like that. Some peoples’ collection of lies ring louder than others, but we all have accumulated clutter in our own belief boxes. The more we dedicate ourselves to daily seeking out eternal truths, beliefs that are REAL, that come from God, we will find peace and serenity. We need to talk back to the clutter that is thrown into our minds every day.

We will be happier and more successful if we start looking at the substance of things. Not the fluffy cultural coat. We need to choose to see things as they really are.

We need to stop doing things for other people to see. I truly believe that it takes value away from experiences and memories. There is nothing wrong with sharing, but we need to check our intentions. Because honestly, popularity and fame and feeling the need to make our lives seem like a grander adventure than everyone else’s is part of the big hologram our society has created. So why live in it? It’s not real!

We all know what REAL life is.

Real life is ups and downs. It’s eating eggs for multiple meals so you can save money because you’re a poor college student and you literally have none. In real life, people don’t look cute every second of every day or have flawless relationships. Real life is lonely and confusing. It's failure and disappointment. Real life is messy bedrooms and stains on the floor and crashing your car and losing your wallet and getting hurt and getting told no and wondering why things happen.

But hardships and loss and hard work make life so r e w a r d i n g and so much more wonderful. And we forget that too often. And we are afraid to admit that all of us struggle and have weaknesses.

I think we all want to be legendary. To leave a mark, to make a difference, to be admirable, to really make something of ourselves. But we often get confused with what a legendary life entails. And here is what I’ve learned.

It’s not living a pinterest-perfect life.

It’s not in having a plethora of friends

It’s not in perfect pictures

It’s not in being outwardly beautiful

Or being magnificently talented

Or in being the most adventurous and accomplished person

The most legendary man who ever walked upon the face of the earth was “despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted of grief”. He spent His life spreading joy and light and having close and intimate relationships with people. He’d seek out those whose hands hung down and He lifted them. in being like Him, we’ll find lasting happiness and unshakeable confidence that we are all in need of. 

I just wanted to remind all of us of the Truths we forget (including myself) 

Happy Sunday everybody.

Love,

Bri 

Confessions of a Type A Personality

Confession: I'm a fan of details. 

A fan of the little details that people know us by, that we may take pride in, and ultimately create our characters. Take my best friends for examples- I absolutely adore their little details. The girl who is obsessed with male celebrities. The girl who sings to herself when doing anything and everything. Or the girl who squeezes extra tight when she gives hugs. These are the details I love about my friends and I honestly wouldn’t want them any other way. But here’s the deal, we all have our special details that make us who we are… but sometimes those details don’t seem so endearing or lovely in our own eyes. Rather they are seen as quirks that can be annoying, irritating, and unchangeable.

For me, overall I would say I like who I am. Is that weird to say? Well, too late now. But it’s not like I’m over here gushing over how incredible I am, gosh no. More in the way that I appreciate the details that make me who I am. I’m happy to be the girl who loves buying fresh flowers for my room because they brighten my mood. I’m happy to be the girl that maps/drives out her daily runs the night before. I’m happy to be the girl who always bakes and delivers cookies on Sundays. I’m happy to be the girl uses the word Fearless in a sentence whenever the opportunity presents itself. I like those details. But then there’s those dreaded quirks that honestly just sometimes drive me into the ground. Now for the sake of not embarrassing myself completely and also comprehending that those who know me well know those quirks already.. I’m just going to skip on past that long list of things that drive me (and surely everyone around me) crazy. However, there’s one thing I’ll share about me that I’m not entirely proud nor ashamed to have. Nonetheless, it’s apart of me. It is me. And maybe it’s not all that fantastic to some people, but I’m learning to love this little detailed quirk of mine.

It’s something that I like to call my Type A Personality

“Type A individuals tend to be very competitive and self-critical. They strive toward goals without feeling a sense of joy in their efforts or accomplishments. Type A personalities experience a constant sense of urgency: Type A people seem to be in a constant struggle against the clock.  Often, they quickly become impatient with delays and unproductive time, schedule commitments too tightly, and try to do more than one thing at a time, such as reading while eating or watching television….”

Umm hiiii, meet Lauren Anderson.

In a sense Type A is cool to be as we are are loyal, hard-working, and driven to success. In another, Type A’s are annoyingly intense, struggle to enjoy the moment, and never allow themselves to relax.  Sick, right? Ah my life. Literally.

 Yes having a Type A personality is exhausting at times (here I am, acting like I’m dying of a disease… I probably need to chill a bit---> perfect example of my problem people!), luckily I’m not the only one dealing with this dilemma.

Meet the Andersons.

Some of the coolest, funniest, loving cats you will ever meet.

Also some of the most Type A people in the Salt Lake County. Well, hold on. As a whole we can be a pretty fun, adventurous, laid back family unit… but we don’t let it show until we finish our early morning workouts on vacation and clean every corner of the house before we leave for date night. Catch my drift? This is us. But I love us. Haters gonna hate, but my Type A fam is pretty fantastic. Well, 4/5 of us hold this quality… bless my papa’s soul, as his free spirit didn’t exactly take in our genetic pool. 

But there are days where my red personality gets the best of me and leaves me in a discouragement of sorts. And when this happens, I feel grateful to call up my fam to help me get back on track. Last week I had one of those dreaded days and called up my older brother, Alex, who is currently living in New York City.

He listened to me vent about work, relationships, and stressful decisions that were on mind and in return he told me how he felt similar pressures in his own life. As we sat on the line with a negative Type A symptom cloud over our heads, he gave a suggestion that immediately brought the sun out and my mood up. With having the rest of my family out of town and all of his roommates being gone for the weekend- left us both alone, work-free, unrestrained for the coming Saturday. With this realization he boldly declared that Saturday was to be our day to do what we want to do.

The day was to be spent doing whatever makes us happy with no guilt regarding if we could be doing something more productive with our time.

The conversation ended with two siblings in different states making a deal to make the following Saturday everything we wanted it to be; to battle off our negative controlling minds and by actually letting ourselves have fun in the midst of our stressful lives.

 So the plan making began of what we both wanted to achieve come the weekend.

So, that was Wednesday.

Do you know how fast your state of mind can change from Wednesday to Saturday?

Uhh, a lot.

By the end of a long work shift on Friday night, I took no regard that the following day was supposed to be 'LaLa’s Day' (nickname created by Alex). Rather I went to bed thinking about all the housework I needed to complete the following morning and with subtle debate in my head if I should wake up in a short five hours to pull out a ten mile run before the heat stole the day.  Like honestly guys, a young adult should not be worrying about that kind of crap. Here I am, house completely to myself, and I’m worrying about getting all the laundry done the following day? #TypeAprobs

Sure enough the next day I was off to complete my own list chores and tedious tasks.. What I did not expect was a text from my bro asking for a full report of how my ‘LaLa Day’ was going.

Ummm, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, in other activities in the like? In other words I said I was “playing mom.”

What happened next was easily the highlight of week. He reluctantly responded back saying that my actions were unacceptable. I was breaking the deal. Simply, I was to stop playing “mom” and go out and have some fun. Or in his words "begin the day of LaLa right now." Before I did anything I asked him how his ‘Aly Day’ was going—he shot back a text of all the amazing things he planned for himself that day; he had already been on a run, went to his favorite bakery, was about to have lunch with a friend, go to Long Island, go to museum… the list goes on. It was right then that I realized that if my over- achieving/productive/time managing/New York internshipping brother can allow himself to so-called throw away an entire day to do what makes him happy, than why not I?

 Right then, I made a list (because us Type-Aers can’t completely throw our systematic actions out the window for good) of everything I wanted to do for myself.

So...

 I went a run (even when it was a solid 95 degrees). Hey, I wanted to run.

I laid out/swam.

I read my new book that I “haven’t had a chance to read”.

I put on some red lipstick.

I went shopping… I actually allowed myself to shop and not worry about saving money... #collegeprobs

I got a facial.

I got Thai takeout.

I got my favorite snow cone in Holladay.

I watched my favorite TV show.

And then I went to bed early with satisfaction and disbelief that I almost surpassed a blissful day as such for the sake of what? changing my bed sheets and getting groceries for the family who would not be returning for another week?

So what’s the whole point of this post you may ask? Besides me ranting about my controlling being...

Well the point is this: Sometimes I really think we don’t take enough time to make ourselves happy.

Currently I’m at a stage in life where I feel like everyone else around me is doing these phenomenal things that not only provides them personal progression but also changes people’s lives (ie a great portion of my friends are serving LDS missions, doing humanitarian trips, etc.). And what am I doing? Uhh working at a clothing store and trying out new recipes? And I guess comparing myself to these people doing these incredible things kinda made me feel useless and, well, discouraged. In other words, unhappy. I guess I felt guilty feeding my own soul with happiness when I could be doing so much for others…

BUT THEN THIS DAY HAPPENED.

And this is what I think

I think serving others can bring you satisfaction like nothing else can in this world. But I also think that there is no shame in treating yourself and taking care of your personal happiness. Because here’s the deal. When you help yourself be happy it reflects in your actions which can become service.

I realized the day I said “yes” to things I loved instead of putting them off, it made me want to say YES to other things and ultimately guided a path of me wanting to to serve others. What’s better service than having positive vibes and helping others around you feel the same? Nothing. Ultimately we don’t need missions and extraordinary opportunity to change the world… all we need is a smile and a hope to brighten people’s days in whatever way we can.

 Taking care of your happiness doesn’t mean you’re selfish, I think that’s a misconstrued concept our society has created. Simply, doing what makes you happy just radiates how you respect yourself. Of course you can’t live your life with only your happiness in mind… but sometimes it’s okay to “no” to saving the world everyday and “yes” to the things that put a smile on your face.

Like, really guys. Its okay. Serve others, serve yourself, and never hesitate that Heavenly Father wants all his children to be happy…Which includes YOU too. Yes he wants us to be humble and always remember Him, but let us remember what humility really means: Humility is understanding that happiness comes from charity and love. Serving others and yourself. Loving others and yourself.

So get your favorite Café Rio salad today. Go on a hike. Go to an amusement park. Take a day off work. Go play some baseball with friends. Spend time with those you love. Go to a movie. Do what makes you happy and do it unapologetically.

Here’s to the boy that wouldn’t let me skip out on my ‘LaLa Day.’ Sure am lucky to have a brother like him, who’s always watching over me and never letting me lose perspective of what this life should be.

Now it’s time for me to pass it on. So to you, dear reader: Say yes and go out and have some fun. Whether you have a Type A personality or not, go out a cease the day!

Trust me,  “enter personal nickname Days” are meant for everyone. Because guess what? 

You deserve to be happy.
And you can be happy...just say
YES. 

 

Love always, 

Lauren